Quit India Movement Redux - Angrezo Bharat Chodo! (But the opposite Happened!)

The British Raj Begins, as Mr. Murphy takes India down.
Two days before the Indian Independence Day, and One day before Pakistan’s, the British Raj begins again in 2011. How ironic 64 years after they left, they are now going to rule the Test ranking of the game they invented…and they not taken or snatched it from us, we have surrendered to them.
Before I go further let me introduce you to Mr. Murphy, who developed The Murphy Law which states that ‘Anything that can go wrong will go wrong’. This law is used a lot in aerospace lingo and engineers try work around this corollary albeit to a lesser degree of success.

Perhaps no other match in the recent history appeared to be so important to the Indian cricket team as the third test match. Being outplayed in the first two tests, the Indian team is currently brooding a uphill task to continue their reign in the longer version of the game... but alas the Lagan moment did not come. Did we miss a trick or we missed players like Bhuvan and Kachra in the team.

So let’s see how Murphy ’s Law has worked for team India(or should I say BCCI’s team) in this tour:

Pre Tour:
Have I made it large controversy – Do I need to say more, Mr. KF!
Injuries to Sehwag meant an opener short.
First and Second Test:
Bonked out as the team could not get the act together as big moments were not snatched.
DRS system…wait, Dysfunctional DRS system – No LBW comes to haunt India.

• Imagine if DRS was not taken then Dhoni would have got KP out in the first game and then wala-wala (B.C.C.I should have refused DRS in the first place)
• If complete DRS taken then LBW decision would have come in favour of India (B.C.C.I should have taken the DRS)
• In short – If I do damn or if I don’t damn! Beech-wali haal hogayi. B.C.C.I tussi great ho!

• In the second game we lost our other opener in a Ghambir fashion, and the other-other-other opener lasted less the Boycott’s mother calling him for tea.

Commentary Masla (Issue): As soon as Gavastri (Gavaskar and Shashtri), spoke about how DRS system does not work and Shastri went one-on-one with Nasir Hussein on it… we get to know both are on a payroll of B.C.C.I, Rs. 4.5 Crores each (USD 1 Million) . WoW!!!

• A food for thought – Ravi Shashtri is in a committee which approved DRS, and yet he speaks against it… something not right. What was his voting patern?
• Now the Brits had our commentators on the back-foot or was it disgruntled Indian who leaked out a message

Ghanta Issue: To Bell or not to Bell the spirit of the cricket issue, here also damn if we do, damn if you don’t. British media spoke of Tendulkar at the deciding factor and not Dhoni! The Old Divide and Rule thingy!

Tour Game: A much awaited answer to the queries regarding Zaheer Khan’s fitness soon came out in the practice game against some Northing team. Right from delivering the opening ball, he never looked to be comfortable. His run-up was shortened and he was not also bending his back up to the fullest level. Just after completing his 3 overs, he walked off the field with the team physio, holding his hamstring… and this some Northing team took the Indian bowlers for CHAI-BISCUIT as they went to tea at the day 2 at a score of 198 for no loss. The alarm bell had rung!!!!

Third Test: The butcher of Nazafgarh, as Sehwag our DEV-ASTRA, was all set to be introduced for the first time in the series through this match… for which he travelled more than 4000 miles to get a king pair or did a mini Agarkar. I still remember in the 90’s when Navjot Siddhu was pulled in as an emergency to Australia…guess what happened…a duck

• When India was bowling it was looking an Indian pitch, and when we were batting it was looking as India pitch – (Nagpur one of Australia series which dada did not captain but Dravid did, this was before honorable Pawar came to power, and a green top was given to Aussies by ground staff)

But for me the game –set-match was done in West-Indies when we did not chase down the runs. Imagine the IPL members did not have the courage to go and fight. A defensive attitude, if we would have won that, then there could be a chance of winning the last game and holding on to the 1^st position.
Read about Dhoni’s condom moment part II here – http://princecalledsourav.blogspot.com/2011/07/dhonis-condom-moment-part-ii.html
Its been two years since dada was made to retire, but they still could not finalize that spot for a player. Its been a musical chairs. I dread to think two years down the line…No Dravid – VVS and Sachin!!!!
So what’s next. I fully agree to Cricket Fauj statement…LETS BUILD A SEPARATE TEST TEAM – Sehwag, Gambhir, Virat Kohli, Pujara, Badrinath, Dhoni, Harbajan, Praveen Kumar, Ishant Sharma, Amit Mishra, Couple of other fast bowlers.

From Face-Tweet Land: (I rember when people made dada jokes like this...how times have changed)

What do u call eleven man watching fireworks? ? Indian Cricket Team :D
Even English players dnt want to miss EPL action so they're taking wickets quickly !!
India leads Cook by 174 runs. He needs to bat again! ;) Target 175 for Cook.
Edgbaston Test: Ishant, sreesanth, mishra completed their hundreds.. PK in nervous 90's...!
300 seems to be a jinxed score, even cook could not get it, not just India :P
My mum plays d rising ball better than Raina.--Si r Geoffrey Boycott.
Vaseline on dravid's bat this time:-P
Indian batsmen are like faithful husbands.. ... they perform only at home......

Source:
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-xezxzEUCZL0/RkCWdLVn5mI/AAAAAAAAAqA/Aq-QPonxG_0/amul28.jpg

Disclaimer: All in the pun of it of a disgrunted Indian Pankha. But remember after the 1983 victory we lost West Indies series in India. So nothing to worry... the preparation and planning was not done, but it can be amended. India is going to win the next test match.

Village People...Please give me Drink for the Spirit of Cricket

The Silence after a Defeat in a Battle

Hic….Hic…I am drowning in spirit of Cricket one day the bridge falling over my head the next. Are we in a shithole or what of failing like that? Before all that let me give you First a ode for Dhoni for his day 3 act (or was it for the award) -

Dhoni bhai Dhoni bhai, where have you been?

“I have been to London to look at the queen.”

Dhoni bhai Dhoni bhai, what did you there?

“I ringed up a bell to bring back spirit of cricket.”

And this act followed by lack-luster field placement over the two days and it looked a whole different Indian team.

I heard once that character is tested when pushed back to the walls… and the time now has come to test the character, of not only Dhoni but of this aging Indian team. I dread to think what will happen when Dravid, VVS and Sachin retires… and we Indian may begin to realize that something similar to the West Indies team (at least in Test matches) will happen.

A fifth day pitch, and the way we were playing was like in Perth Australia facing Andy Roberts, Joel Garner, Amrose, Walsh…and other great fast bowlers. May be we need more SUPER…SUPER….MADRAS…UPAR RAJA PLAYERS in the team, what say Mr. Owner, Dis-Creamator and De-Selector!!!!!! Time to bring in some from the emerging player tournament, and give them more practice.  Ranji champions of the country have players in the national test team, and it is good exercise to study this trend. Puraja, Badrinath…please return quickly.

Anirudh…Raina…Yuvaj getting out was a sight to watch. Even Courtney Walsh and Murli would have played (in fact would be an insult to them). The fact of the matter was there was no plan of action. Like passing the baton, and going for another fund raising activities.

Rise up team India…Rise up… otherwise Suresh Kalmadi with dementia, will be forgot and say he Chairman of the B.C.C.I one day!

So I beg for the ex players to take action off-field also and tame this power hungry politicos. 

And now another ode this time for B.C.C.I and Dhoni!

London Bridge is broken down,
Falling down, falling down.
London Bridge is falling down,
My not so fair B.C.CI.

Build it up with wood and clay, (no new crop of test players, only Super Duper)
Wood and clay, wood and clay,
Build it up with wood and clay,
My not so fair B.C.CI.

Wood and clay will wash away, (Out by Bouncers)
Wash away, wash away,
Wood and clay will wash away,
My not so fair B.C.CI.

Silver and gold from IPL,
From IPL, From IPL,
Silver and gold will be stolen away,
My not so fair B.C.CI.

Set a man to watch all night,
Watch all night, watch all night,
Set a man to watch all night,
My not so fair B.C.CI.

Suppose the man should fall asleep,
Fall asleep, fall asleep,
Suppose the man should fall asleep?
My not so fair B.C.CI.

Disclaimer Number Alpha 403853: A frustrated fan trying to live in the past of glory. Number one, not in ads and hard liquor drink ads (thank you Sachin for that…still avoiding that). No harm meant. B.C.C.I here is acronym for Bank of Credit International and Commerce, Dhoni is a fictionous person and so is the writer and the blog, and the world. (see what the new IT act is doing to me)

Dhoni’s Condom Moment Part II

Appropriately enough, two of the most formidable opponents have been chosen to compete on this glorious occasion: India and England. As per Ashis Nandy “Cricket is an Indian game accidentally discovered by the English”. So, no two other cricket playing nations would be as appropriate to bask on this glorious feat of test cricket as India and England. Now India as the new lion pretends to sit in the throne which the great West-Indies team, Aussie under Steve Waugh and Aussie under Pointing (with Warne and McGrath) sat… wish it would be the case.

The game was set for at the Mecca of cricket, Lord’s and the 100^th test match began with loud cheering during the toss. I wonder if Mr. Pawar, of ICC fame, thought the cheering meant things would go India’s way. Dhoni’s won the toss, but lost the match… but where did he loose it?

·    Was it when turbanator failed to make it large? ...he did make it large – not-out in the first inning J (check Harodia ji facebook page)

·    When the WALL kept running out of masons (partners) in the first inning?

·    Losing Jhakas Zak to damage?

·    Having no answers to KP’s double?

·    Or Naju (a good friend code name) still two tests away?

Well… we lost it, when Dhoni’s had his second condom’s moment!!! Playing safe is a good option, but how can I boost to my grandkids that I was there when we part of a great team in the same bracket which were led by great like – Sobers, Lloyd , and Waugh.

Avoiding the second inning chase (last west-indies test) earlier in the month was the first moment of safety for Dhoni. To go for the draw and not chasing down the modest west-indies target, showcased a first symptom of a sub-type of disease - top-rank-topple-lycis, and the phobia ‘Medomalacuphobia’

But by not allowing Hercules (re)haired Lanky boy bowl after lunch, SMG was left scratching whatever hair left on his head, and Bhog Harsh thinking about more weaving costs which may come his way. My refresh button begged for Lanky boy to come back…but he did not. Instead of him coming other came J, and it was our cappy’s second condom moment. Lanky was bowling like a swansong and it could have made a difference between chasing 300 and 400 +.

Hey he is human…so he needs rest, isn’t so? But then our Jumbo – Kumble is super human, when he with his secret white bandage mask, tried to take down the great Lara (not Larra Dutta for my new age friends, but the real Lara). A link for my Lanky hairy friend: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/cricket/1984319.stm

Next time please don’t say I am human. We want you all to be super-humans for us. We love you all, adore you and emotionally attached. Your victory is our victory and your loss is our loss.

I fell in love with such heroes before…but I fear I will loose them…the gladiators are dying.

I am sure that my team will bounce back to full steam and reverse this Medomalacuphobia attitude.  Our cappy Dhoni, has bounced back and will come back with full force. The English men just you wait (wait…are the English…English enough. Ahem…South African, Irish, Indian, And Pakistani). Well they are taking tips from us then.

So Mr. KF, instead of challenging to make it large…why don’t we make a new one which rings -  ‘Ðo you want it to make it safe?’

I wonder what Dada’ was thinking…while commenting with old foe the Hussein?... may be both should have taken a shirt removing completion J for the old times sake.

The 2000^th test match did not end as a dull and boring draw, but I am sure this is the turning point for our Cappy. He should think to grow back his goldilocks, and I call upon cric info to make a analysis of run’s scored BH (Before goldilocks Hair) and AH (After goldilocks Hair). Who knows it may have the power of Hercules in it.

Wait.

Wait…

Wait……

Oh. Yes…Yes… Medomalacuphobia means fear of loosing an erection (not electionJ, as someone once told me), could not find a fear for ‘going over the over-rate’. (Wikipedia, are you listening)

Declaration: I have written the above article while sleeping and not in a state of mind of seriousness. It’s a joke on me…and others (apart from the 2G, 3G, and (future 4G)…adarash – mining… Baba ji ki jai things going around). But come on….we need to vent out some place. So come on….Yalgaar bolo…and let’s wallop the English in their own-backyard. Otherwise don’t fretter… Mansur Haider will be joining your squad next year. (Watch this space).

In the age of T20 cricket when the obituaries of test cricket has already been drafted, and lo behold the 2000^th match being played, between the old lion and the new lion expected to rank up the ticket counters, test appetite and thrill quotient, and it DID!  

Prince Called Sourav…and the rebirth (first one) started in Lords

Summary: Not only as a captain of the Indian national cricket team, Sourav Ganguly has also earned appreciations by being a prolific batsman. He has been tried and tested in a number of hostile situations, which helped him to be one of the greatest left-handers not only in Indian cricket, but in world cricket also.

More than the former skipper of the Indian national cricket team, Sourav Ganguly is viewed upon as a folk hero whose heroic exploits are passed from one generation to another. Hate him or love him - you got to admit it is he who brought in a major transformation in the overall approach of Indian cricket. Once considered to be a fierce opponent in home but minnows outside, Indian cricket has successfully left such a tag behind. Currently, it is the # 1 test team and also the cricket world cup champs.

Ganguly, along with John Wright, the former Indian coach, spearheaded Indian cricket to bask in the glory of this epoch-making feat. It did look he practised favouritism in some cases, but had earned the stripes by then. He is believed to have nurtured many young talents who have played under his captaincy. His faith on his players’ ability and backing them up with appropriate chances have often resulted into extracting the best performances on the field. This quality earned Ganguly the “players’ captain” sobriquet.

Some of the most notable feats that rest under Sourav’s belt are defeating Australia when they toured India with a dream run of 16 consecutive wins, Natwest Series win in England, clinching the Friendship Series against arch-rival Pakistan, runners-up in 2003 cricket world cup, and of course, drawing the test series in Australia. Although Sourav Ganguly is projected as one of the protagonists of Indian cricket folklore, his journey was not a cakewalk. He, too, like any other commonplace individual have had to face a roller-coaster ride.

The very first setback came in Ganguly’s cricketing career in 1992 when he started his ODI stint against the West Indies. The reasons of his being left out was more to do with his arrogance and behaviour, rather than performance. However, after scoring heavily in the domestic level, Ganguly was recalled to join the national team for England tour in 1996. At there, he was left out for the first test but got a berth in the second one after Navjot Singh Sidhu left the tour halfway. And then there was no turning back for him.

Ganguly played a brilliant knock of 131 in the first innings of the second test at Lords, which was followed by another century in the third and last test at Trent Bridge. These back to back centuries somewhat cemented Ganguly’s position in the then Indian cricket team. From there until 2005, Ganguly played some brilliant knocks that earned him both national and international accolades. In the 2005 the infamous Chappell-Ganguly saga broke out that cost Ganguly not only his captaincy but even a place in the national team.

However, a strong public protest all throughout the nation and indifferent performances by his replacements enforced the national selectors to bring back Ganguly in both formats of the game in 2006. Ganguly justified the chance and continued to amass runs under his kitty. Both the years of 2006 and 2007 have seen Ganguly in a more devastating form. Two of the most notable feats in his career: a test century in his home ground Eden Gardens, and a maiden double hundred in test cricket were achieved by him after he made a comeback.

Just prior to the October 2008 test series against Australia, Ganguly announced his retirement from the game. In his last international test series, he amassed 324 runs at a commendable average of 54.00. Though many of the cricketing experts felt that he could have continued playing as the flair was still within him, Ganguly wanted to leave the stage with head held high.

He started with a century in this first test and ended with a duck. Don Bradman also ended up with a duck, and when I see the Lords game today….memories flashback on the rise of the Tiger….

Such is the quality of my true prince; a prince called Sourav!

Yet another eventful IPL week

IPL 4 lacks the spark of IPL 3, and no I am not talking about the post-match parties, well not only about them. :P This past week of IPL saw many Indian cities clashing on the cricket field, a series of good performances and as expected, a series of disappointers. While it is clear that Gambhir needs to draw some inspiration from his name, Virat needs to raise the standards of his game. Warney dear and his Hurley dear have, I should say, been the most attractive and beautiful parts of the IPL so far. The affairs of the rich and famous, sigh!

Anyway, Mumbai Indians have emerged this time as a very organized team, a formidable side. It snapped Chennai, Deccan Chargers, Pune, Bangalore and also made Delhi a victim. Delhi managed a win after three easy losses. It got the better of Punjab in an easy match only after falling down to Deccan Chargers, Rajasthan and Mumbai!

It’s interesting how IPL teams show completely different colours in each season every year…. It is not so easy to draw theories about them, and in these ever-changing colours, IPL teams also display how colourful really the game of cricket is and why we love it so. Among the new teams, Kochi is the one that is grabbed eyeballs. It is the only team to have beaten Mumbai Indians this season.

The same people we expect a lot from have made us proud again – Chris Gayle blazed it up with a century off 55 balls and Shakib shot 22 off 9! SRK.....well...i did tell you virtually to take Gayle...never mind...things will go well

This looks like a healthy IPL…one that as always promises nice incomes to the players who don’t otherwise get a chance but are not least talented. J
Ho IPL!